Reasons Why That New Title Might Transform You.

Nothing transforms a man more than the news that, henceforth a title, preferably one that catapults them higher than their colleagues or Peers, has been bestowed upon them. If a then Constable, now a Corporal. If a devoted village headman, to Assistant Chief. If a normal football mid-fielder, to overall Club Captain. Or if normal petty thief, who kept being locked up at the local AP post, to certified thug and gang leader, complete with a tattoo of Aleister Crowley, founder of the church of satan, and arguably one of the wickedest men to ever walk the planet.

These titles seem to instill in a man an air of invincibility, a transformation of overall lifestyle , while also doing a total make-over of their goings-on of life, in and out of the work place. New titles seem to inject in a man, a fluid that sends you on a high, but which has the potential to later reduce you to pulp. How beneficial these titles are to overall performance of man, i don't know. But seeing as we all cant fit on same levels of life, its unavoidable. But i know sometimes, for some reason they may distract, curtail and even send a potentially top achiever on this downward spiral, if handled improperly. No two men will respond uniformly to a new title, but here's my brief take on what to expect from the new guy calling the shots, both at the quarry or even in school. (I chose school, because that's where the quarry worker made that fatal mistake, that sent him to a lifetime of mining for rocks in the scorching sun, with their bare hands).

The Quarry Supervisor..

A hands-on worker in this quarry, who would always wake up before the cock crows (He has no cock of his own, but the neighbor's does just fine), so he can produce more than his colleagues. But the quarry owner showd up one day, and elevated him to Supervisor, in recognition of his zeal for work. And our brother, all of a  sudden starts taking his breakfast from his creaky bed, while going through 'important mail from important people' on his phone that has ,as one of its accessories, a dirty rubber band wrung around it, to hold it together. He starys calling his juniors, to find out how work is progressing, rather than be physically present like he used to. He becomes sloppy, starts blaming the tea-girl for his unmet monthly targets, and is now finding the stones too heavy and dirty for his shoulder. All his hardwork virtues are watered down in a week. 

He starts considering his previous roles inferior. He's now disinfecting his hands after touching the chisel, and will only greet his former colleagues with a clenched fist, but not because of Corona. He'll be seen doing rounds at the site pocketing and barking out orders that no one ever barked to him. 

Like the colonial master, he'll reduce wages for his former colleagues and accuse them of being wayward spenders, conveniently forgetting that he too, owes a fortune in the local drinking den. He'll acquire new friends with equal titles. Forgetting that just because you've become a Supervisor in a Congolese Mining outfit, it doesn't mean that you start drinking with the one for NASA, Houston....that same title, may attract different perks, depending on where you are. And our brother instantly sinks into debt as he tries to fit in. 

And the title, rather than be a blessing like the employer probably intended, starts producing detrimental effects on the family and person. He'll hire a car he can't afford, so he can attend that function in style, not to be outdone by his 'peers', thereby shrinking his income even further. 

His walking style will change, for a rather tiring gait that the Hyena tried and failed. He'll ditch his overall, for that mtumba suit. But overalls are what he's good in. He'll change his earlier eatery, for the home made lunch cooked by his latest girlfriend. The same one that the previous supervisor ditched when she hit him on the forehead with a beer bottle, thereby sending him to bed for a month, and hence his earlier than usual sacking. His entire speech will change, and suddenly there is him and there is 'these people', who almost always 'don't understand'. He'll instruct the boda boda rider to carry only one soul, his, at all times or risk action from the OCPD, and will drive this point home by brandishing the burly cop's number.

He'll call in sick three days a week and give out instructions from his 'hospital bed', which will almost always be in Shiku's bedroom, in the neghboring town's filthiest slum.

Before you know it, his wife starts cursing the promotion , since the former polite husband will now not touch Sukuma Wiki with a ten-foot pole. Every time she's cooked Sukuma wiki since the promotion, he's instantly reminded her that he's not a rabbit and gone to sleep. Yet Sukuma wiki is all his pay seems to buy comfortably, new title not withstanding.

And for this brother, the new title has brought more chaos into his life, than Bluemoon would to a drunk already high on Keg. Tragic.

The Obedient Office Messanger.

This office messenger who thoroughly enjoyed his job and uniform, has now been elevated to office assistant. Don't ask me the difference between the two, but he's now quoting Stalin's verses as he threatens all and sundry with fire and brimstone from heaven, if they don't toe his line. He'll tell them that the same God who elevated him, after all the waiting, will be the one to demote them if they don't watch out.

Even though he's now changed his entire wardrobe, you'll be shocked to know that  the only increment in his payslip the promotion has brought, is two meagre 'sousands'. 

The only thing he's not 'delegated' is his wife, but even she, the Chief has noticed is becoming rather lonely, and in the spirit of serving the community, is willing to do something about in the dark nights when the newly promoted bloke is out 'strategizing with Central bank officials'. Trust the chief to know everything in every household....exactly as the President directed.

Our School Head.

While nothing much has changed except the title, the new Deputy Principal will start noticing that he's too senior to attend classes. He loved teaching, and watching his pupils blossom. But now he's delegated all his lessons to this lanky trainee from K.U, while all along threatening him with dire consequences, should the new arrangement reach the ears of the area Education boss. One the school watchman's major duties, will henceforth be to polish his boss's shoes after every trip he makes round the school compound inspecting nothing in particular, for there is obviously nothing going on worth inspecting, except the tree nursery. And even that, has already been inspected by the prefect.

You'll notice that he's dropped his glasses an inch down to the tip of his nose like Wole Soyinka, and is now peeping at the new parent from above them like Martin Wambora. He starts carrying files around and acquire this angry look that he painfully has to shed off after five, for that's when the borrowing starts. From the butchery to mama mboga, the day-time disciplinarian must now smile from one ear to the next, muttering "mwisho wa mwezi iko karibu,usijali".

His overall performance will wane as a result and will always be looking forward to the next political gathering of his peers to sing misplaced circumcision songs and gauge his overall popularity in the teaching fraternity. Students who previously benefited immensely from his effortless grasp of Physics now have to make do with the predictable answer,"see me tomorrow", for the fela no longer has time for his own career. Those who stood to benefit from his prowess, now have no choice but to go looking for new territories. In this case, he absconds his primary calling because someone somewhere made the mistake of promoting him. Hes even missed his grandma's burial, because he had to attend that Heads function in Hargeisa.

The Youth Leader.

In our church themes, this Keyboard player is as captivating as he is industrious, until the day he's made overall youth leader. Instantly he wakes up to the fact that Suzzy, the girl with that silky voice in the choir is not only a good singer, she is also beautiful. And when he decides to put a voice to his observation, his demise has started. First of all, Suzzy squels on him, and it gets personal since the Pastor, also being a man with two functional eyes, wastes no time in expelling the love smitten chap out of the church over 'gross misconduct'. Feelings he'd so successfully swept under the rug for Christ's sake, now suddenly rear their ugly head and his true character comes out. And Satan will not stop, until this otherwise committed christian has ditched the Bible for the Keg Mug, citing irreconcilable differences with the church.

With his emotions kicked to the kerb, the young chap embarks on this self-destructive spiritual revenge mission, that would have not happened if they hadn't taken him away from his beloved keyboard. 

In no time, he's grown dreadlocks and is playing for Matata Boys Band, an outfit that only plays at night while smoking weed on stage to increase creativity and keep mosquitoes at bay. He has no apologies for switching that Jesus Christ poster in his bedroom for Bob Marley, and is now thinking waylaying the Pastor at night, as the situation spirals out of control. 

I am all for promotions and recognizing every individual for their output and honesty. But in my view, the new title ought not to transform adversely, rather it should spur positivity, for that was the intention of the promoterb(Hopefully). But some will raise you, so your fall from grace can be most spectacular. Titles/posts mean nothing, except to those of us with esteem issues. If someone elevates you to a god status, kindly remind them, through deed, that you are only human.That you are simply serving to the best of your capabilities, and do not wish to be worshiped nor fed with falsehoods. Performance, output, servitude means everything. And its all that matters to man and to God.

So folks, at all times, wherever you are, in whatever position, just give it your best shot...!